Focusing on what you can control

Encouraging children and teens to focus on what they can control rather than what they cannot, is difficult at the moment, as they feel the frustrations of missing friends and ‘normal’ life. If we can think about lockdown as physical distancing rather than social distancing it could really help the way face these unprecedented times.

Our brains are wired for connection with others, however there will be times when we don’t want to connect; maybe we’re having a not so good day or just don’t want to be reminded of what we’ve lost. And there will be days where one connection will lift our spirits and mood instantly.

Many children and teens don’t want to be in front of a camera ‘on show’. There many games they can play online with friends without the video chat. Uno and Monopoly online have been a big hit with my boys aged 8, 10 and 11. They are able to create ‘private’ games with their friends. My oldest has enjoyed the creativity of Minecraft and having a private realm with 4 of his friends. When it comes to managing screen time, it’s helpful to collaborate on boundary setting, particularly with teenagers. If they can learn set their own health boundaries with the your guidance, it’s one more step towards living independently, which is what the teenage brain is learning to do. Find what works for you as a family whilst encouraging them to keep connecting with others.

We learn so much about ourselves through our relationships with others. Children learn through play and interacting with friends. Part of the teenage brain development process is nurtured by social interaction and communication. How others see them; learning about themselves through the feedback they receive from verbal reactions as well as body language.

The whole world has been faced with exactly the same challenge at almost exactly the same time. Knowing that you are not alone can really help support mental health and wellbeing.

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